It was almost 4:00 and we were still sitting outside chopping it up about the opportunities and obstacles for organizations when it comes to implementing great DEI programs, when we realized we were already an hour late to our last session. We never made it to that session, but that was ok because Angela and I ended up taking the time we needed to have the conversation we needed for that moment. That’s time wealth, having the margin or breathing room to be intentional with how you spend your time. I was introduced to this term this past weekend at our five year Coke Leadership Summit for scholar alumni, part of this broad network (really family) of amazing leaders. Let me just say this, I don’t know anyone who really likes conferences, even the people who put them on (and I used to do that as a big part of my job back in the day). While I tend to leave them inspired, with a notebook of quotes and notes, I also leave fully drained and in need of a people detox afterwards.

But, something is different about this one. For one thing, I made the time to be here, clearing my schedule for a few days with no meetings, no distractions, just time to engage and learn. I’m usually on the other side of the process, planning the conference or facilitating sessions. It felt nice to be an audience member for a change. And, it feels really good to be making the decision to invest in my own development.

One conversation that keeps coming up is the issue of time. We’re a roomful of hard charging, high achieving leaders. How do we manage? Typical conference culture (I’ve been guilty of it in the past myself) is to spend more time at the conference on your phone or computer, than you do engaging with the people in front of you. My favorite part of getting together in person with people, particularly folks you don’t get to see everyday is the actual one on one conversations. Going into these past few days I didn’t know who exactly I would connect with, but I knew that I wanted to make a few deeper connections and in order to do so, I wanted to remain open to the moments presenting themselves.

One of our speakers, Dr. Laurie Santos a professor at Yale who teaches a course on the Science of Happiness talked about how research that suggests that time famine can have just as much of a negative impact on our health and life outcomes as literal hunger famine. I’d never heard that term, time famine, but I’d definitely felt it. I feel it every time I’m hurrying from one thing to the next, mindlessly trying to cross things off my to do list as if that’s what life is all about. I felt it with our pre-pandemic overly scheduled lives. I feel it every time I overcommit myself, because of pressure to do all the things, instead of prioritizing the most important thing. You know how it is when you’re constantly rushing, hurrying, and hustling, you’re never actually ever able to taste the life you have. Instead, you’re likely to find yourself more stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed.

But I’ve also lately began to experience the benefits of time wealth. I’ve always believed that you can buy time with money for convenience sake, and through mindfulness practices I’ve learned more how to make the most of the time I do have by intentionally being present in current moments. It’s why this past week while the girls were out of school, we went to our first Braves game, and college football game, and went biking to the waterfalls, and spent a morning at the bookstore.

It’s been a full week, but a good kind of full. We’re doing things that light us up because we’ve created the margin in our lives to make living this way a reality. Now if only I could spread the gospel of rest, margin, and play to the masses.

PS.

The very next day after I recorded this blogpost was definitely the opposite of a time wealth day. In fact, it felt like a time famine. We woke up late around 7am, rushing to get out the door to church. Then we played Uber driver for the girls, dropping the teenager off with her friends and picking her up, shuttling the tween to the movies with her small group from church (at which point I realized too late that there wasn’t enough time to go back home… so I treated myself to a massage which wasn’t a bad consolation prize). Then while my wife was at a birthday party with the younger two (who schedules a kids birthday party in the middle of the opening weekend of Sunday football?), I was back a home after 5 cleaning up, calling the grandparents, and packing lunches for tomorrow. By 8pm we were ready to finally sit down around the table for dinner and I’m still exhausted just thinking about it. And I can feel it in my body, which just goes to show me that while this doesn’t happen everyday, too much of this pace can easily take its toll.

SDW3