So here I am sitting on the porch with my glazed lemon loaf tea, light blanket, and my dog Coco by my side up here in the north Georgia mountains where I’ve now spent the past few days enjoying fall break with my family.  It’s a remarkable turn of events given the lead up to now.  It’s been a rough past couple of weeks with busy travel, getting sick, and then with the pressure to end the year strong I found myself failing to tend properly to my most important relationships. Let’s just say, things weren’t going well. I needed a break and I needed to reconnect first with myself and my family.

What a difference a week away makes. I’ve had time to recover from being sick. I’ve spent much of it reading and writing, while taking in the beautiful mountain view. I almost was able to forget about the chaos and turmoil that exists back in the real world (that is until I read the news one day and realized that the world was in fact still on fire). I’ve had an amazing time with my wife and girls. Something about being away from it all, even if momentarily, allowed me the space and clarity I needed to make sense of it all. I’m beginning to believe that my point of view is shifting simply because I literally changed my location.  Funny how perspective works that way, you have to change positions to see things from a different point of view.

Just yesterday I had an experience this reinforced this idea. We took the kids to a rock mining place (because they’re all about rocks and gems these days, my little geologists).  Anyways, seeing as how we are in the north Georgia mountain town of Blue Ridge, more progressive perhaps than it’s surroundings but still on the whole, very white and conservative, I was on guard more than usual. It’s what happens when you’re out of your element, and even more so when you feel like you’re in potentially hostile territory. Sprinkle in my acute awareness of the deep rural, urban divide in my home state and you get it. I was on alert. 

As we pulled up to the shop located midway down the mountain, across the street from a tubbing site, I noticed an older white man sitting on the porch out in front.  He seemed to just be enjoying himself sitting in a rocking chair. We said hello and then walked inside what appeared to be a gift shop. But there was no one inside. Just as I started back towards the door to find help, the older guy walks in with a smile and walks behind the cash register. The kids choose the gem mining activity and he escorts us with our buckets to the area where they spend the next little while enjoying mining for gems. Initially we were the only ones, but soon, a few other families arrive in minivans and SUVs of their own.

By the time we leave (after a fun time by the way), I’d almost forgotten about my initial hesitation. Our host was so gracious, with us and each of the other families who arrived. A few asked us for directions when they arrived to get their gem-mining activity started. After a while it just felt like families helping families. We all had young kids, some younger than others, and it looked like we were all just trying to enjoy this moment with our respective loved ones. I don’t know their stories, and they didn’t ask us ours, and that’s ok. But we shared an experience together, and that’s saying something for where we are in society right now. It wasn’t lost on me that we were sporting Black History is American History matching family sweatshirts, while around us I saw stand for the flag and kneel for the cross paraphernalia. We each wear our patriotism in different ways, it’s a shame we don’t talk about it more.

I’ve wondered for a while how we create more spaces where dialogue can happen across lines of difference. My life’s work is focused on doing just that, but it only begins when each of us find ways to take a step in the other’s direction. Coincidentally that’s what I also learned as I reconnected with my wife and daughters this weekend. Misunderstandings that were rooted in miscommunication, lack of awareness, or sheer ignorance were more easily resolved when we took the time to sit down and really listen to each other. I’m committed to doing this for the relationships that matter most to me, what if we choose to do so for other relationships as well?

SDW3