Let me tell you about Mrs. Cynthia and her husband.  They’re an older retired black couple who have lived in our neighborhood for 16 years. They’ve hosted an annual screen on the green for 13 of those years.  It began as a way for them to gather all their kids and grandkids together, and has now turned into a beautiful annual community gathering.  This past weekend the girls and I attended the now full blown festivities and had ourselves a time. It’s inspired me to start my own initiative to bring the community together, biking with dads.

I first met Mrs. Cynthia in the mornings on her daily walks.  I would pass her riding my bike as she walked through the neighborhood with her trusty walking stick.  Sometimes her husband is with her, but more often than not she’s by herself. She reminds me of my own mother who loves to get out and walk the neighborhood for exercise. A retired educator, when I see her out there with her walking stick, you can tell that she is a person not to be trifled with.  And yet, she’s the sweetest person you’ll ever come across.  She’s also what I would call a true community organizer for our neighborhood.

Watch how her yard transforms depending on the season.  Sure, like most, she decorates for the major events like Christmas, Halloween, Easter, and Thanksgiving.  But Mrs. Cynthia does it big for every voting season.  She has signs posted throughout her yard. Not advertising any particular candidate mind you (I learned that first hand when I ran for office), but just encouraging everyone to get out there and vote.  So it comes as no surprise that her civic activism translates into bringing the community together each year. 

Each year her screen on the green is a can’t miss event. My daughters love attending, and so do I. As I talked to her and her husband at this year’s gathering, I could tell the difference that this event means to our community.  It’s a way to bring us all together.   Who knew my neighborhood had all these kids?  Meanwhile, I actually get to have a conversation with adults that usually we only wave hello and goodbye while getting in and out of our cars.  

There are a lot of theories as why this type of coming together is rare. We trust each other (and our kids) less. We’ve fallen prey to the assumption (not backed by data) that society is less safe. If you’ve been following the trends outlined by sociologists like Robert Putnam, our communities have been fracturing now for decades. Jonathan Haidt captures the mood in his book, The Anxious Generation as he describes the decrease in a play based childhood alongside the rise in a phone based childhood. At some point we collectively decided that neighborhoods weren’t actually places to come together, but instead where we retreat to our individual lives. What a shame.

When we fail to come together, we’re missing out on the benefits that come with community. I love that my daughters are able to ride their bikes freely around the neighborhood and other caring adults recognize them. I wish other parents felt the same. I joke with other parents that I’m looking to start a biking gang of kids (and parents) on bikes roaming the neighborhood. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be a joke. I’ve noticed in talking with a few other parents that people are open to the idea. This could be fun, I’m excited to see where it goes. Mrs. Cynthia would be proud.

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