In a few days, my third oldest daughter London Hope Wakefield turns 9. Due to her constant reminders, it’s been a highly anticipated occasion in our household now for months (literally ever since her older sister Olivia’s birthday back in June). London’s nickname is power, which I’ll explain in a moment. But first, I want to celebrate and remember why we named her Hope. Like each of our children, their names mean something, and for us, London arrived at a time in our lives when hope was what we needed most.

The year was 2015 and things were a mess. To be fair, it started on a high note. After a few years of debate, my wife and I decided that it was time to expand our family from two daughters to a third child. That was back in the days when I still was hopeful for a son. Little did I know that I was destined to be a #girldad (and I wouldn’t trade my four girls for anything today). We also decided that with the addition of another child, we’d outgrown our current home. It was a bittersweet time because this was our first place we’d purchased together, and we’d been there for nearly 8 years. It was also the longest I’d ever lived in one place my entire life, so it felt especially like home.

Initially everything fell into place. We had no trouble getting pregnant (something we would later experience in later pregnancies). We also found the perfect home almost by accident. After months of looking, we stumbled across a home in an established neighborhood and before we knew it we were under contract. This was the calm before the storm. A few months after signing a contract and starting the building process, I got laid off from my job of 8 years. I’d spent most of my professional career there and built up a network of relationships. It felt like I was leaving my own family. Worse, because I was still a relatively young professional in my early 30s, most of my identity was wrapped up in my work. I felt embarrassed and struggled with questions about my worth. This was February. My wife meanwhile was in the middle of her own job transition, meaning that with a new home and baby on the way, we were staring at the prospects of double unemployment.

Just when I assumed it couldn’t get worse, I got the news. I still remember the day so clearly. We were at Perimeter Mall in the food court. I was pushing the stroller when my childhood best friend’s sister called me. Josh was back in the hospital, his cancer had taken a turn for the worse. I should come home as soon as possible. The next day I was back home in South Carolina in his hospital room. We were joking and laughing. I told him, what did he think he was doing putting this kind of scare into us again? He’d already beaten cancer before, and if anyone could do it again, he would. Besides, Samantha and I would be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in a few months. I expected, no demanded, that he be by my side to celebrate with us in May, just like he was ten years earlier on our wedding day. He promised he would. That was the last time I saw Josh alive. A week later I was on my final road trip for work when I got the call that Josh had passed.

The year London graced us with her presence was filled with uncertainty. And then, came September 14th, and things just sort of fell into place. London happens to share a birthday with my great grandfather Cal Mattison and my Grandma Lola, two of my favorite people who also lived through turbulent times of their own. To know London is to understand why hope exists. I’ve never seen her get too down for long, and she has a smile that has always been able to light up a room. But her nickname power, comes from how she approaches everything in life with passionate energy. London’s way of showing up in the world is active. That’s what we need from hope, love you can count on.

We all need a little hope in our lives, especially when it’s hard to see your way forward. It’s fitting that London’s birthday is approaching in a few days as I’m reminded of the power of hope in this season of life. It feels like there’s a lot at stake right now for me, personally and professionally.
Last night a good friend texted me and said that he called my name out in prayer. Man, that was right on time. You know how the people closest to you can usually tell when you’re going through something? Thank God we have each other and hope.

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