Usually Fridays are low key days, but not this one. I woke up early to get some work done and soemthing in my spirit told me that today would be a lot. So, during my quiet time as I set my intentions for the day I wrote the following in my journal:

Be a thermostat. Not a thermometer. 

Yes it’s important to know the weather around you. 

But you can’t control the weather or the outside factors causing the weather. 

You can control how you respond though. 

Little did I know how much I would need this encouragement. Almost immediately I was thrust into multiple situations beyond my control.

My oldest daughter needed to be dropped off at her apprenticeship. I had a narrow window to both transport her to the destination (a horse farm in rural west Georgia run by a group of black women) and get back in time for my own meetings. As it turned out, the location was farther than I realized and when we arrived, the person she was supposed to meet was running late. Like an hour late.

Sitting there in the car after our peaceful drive through the countryside neither one of us knew exactly what to do next. My daughter was frustrated with herself and the circumstances beyond her control. I was exasperated because I would potentially have wasted nearly an hour each way when I had so much other stuff to do. She was on the verge of tears, feeling that her chance to complete an important goal was slipping through her fingers. I was on the verge of erupting into a dad lecture about the importance of better planning.

What happened next made all the difference.

We took a deep breath, ok several, and figured out a plan. But more than the solution, it was how we got there that mattered.

Both of us love a good plan. We live for structure. We thrive on predictability. We do not enjoy curveballs. So this moment, frustrating as it was, became an unexpected masterclass in flexibility.

She got to hear me say (calmly, this time), you can’t control everything. But you can over-communicate and show up ready. The rest you have to trust will work itself out.”

And I got to hear her say, I’m frustrated I waited until the last minute, but I still think this is going to be a great experience.

We both got to see that things did work out—just not in the way we planned.

Turns out, being a thermostat takes practice. But on this unpredictable Friday, we both got a little better at setting the temperature.

SDW3