This weekend we took my oldest daughter on her first college tour to Fort Valley State University, located about an hour and a half south of Atlanta in central Georgia. It was a surreal experience for so many reasons. I joked with my wife the morning of the visit, you look like somebody’s momma. Meaning—can you believe we’re old enough to have a child visiting colleges? In just a few weeks, we’ll be back at our own alma mater for our 20th reunion. Where has the time gone?

I’d been looking forward to this trip ever since we scheduled it, along with a few other fall visits. Honestly, the fact that we scheduled them at all is a milestone. Getting my daughter to plan for the future is tough. On the one hand, she’s always thinking about what’s next. On the other, she tries to keep it all in her head, which quickly becomes overwhelming. I keep nudging (ok, strongly encouraging) her to write things down, to see how getting worries onto paper can make them more manageable. But like most lessons, this one will have to be embodied. I’m confident she’ll figure it out in her own way and in her own time.

I was especially excited about Fort Valley for two reasons. First, it’s the top public HBCU in Georgia. Second, it offers undergraduate majors in veterinary science, which matches her interests. Though I didn’t attend an HBCU myself, I’ve always admired the bond my friends and family carry from their HBCU experiences. On our tour, the pride was unmistakable, “I love my HBCU” kept coming up in the student guide’s stories. It reflects a broader trend: more Black students are seeking environments that affirm who they are and where they can flourish.

I understand that pull. I was often the only Black kid in my high school classes, which was isolating. At Emory (a PWI), I eventually found my community, but it wasn’t easy. Part of me would love for my daughters to choose an HBCU and avoid some of the challenges I faced.

Another plus for Fort Valley: its size. Our daughter isn’t drawn to big environments. FVSU is small enough that she could be known, yet large enough to have space and independence.

As we toured the campus—walking through classrooms, hearing its history I found myself watching her reactions closely. First, I asked her, can you see yourself here on this campus? I shared with her about my experience turning to my mom during the tour of Emory’s campus and saying, this is it. This is the school I’m going to attend. Despite the fact that I had already accepted enrollment somewhere else. Second, I asked myself, can I see myself supporting her decision, regardless of what it is?

I’ll admit, I left with mixed feelings. I noticed the lack of resources, a reality for many HBCUs due to decades of underfunding. At the same time, I trust Riles. She’s thoughtful and pragmatic. She’ll make a good decision when she’s ready. For now, she kept her cards close, not tipping her hand about whether Fort Valley felt like “the one.” Classic.

In the meantime, it’s on to the next stop in a month. The journey continues.

SDW3