Recently, when asked if she’d ever run for president, Michelle Obama said, “Don’t waste my time with that… I’ve got like 30 summers left. I want to spend them doing things I love.”

I’ve heard this idea of measuring life in summers before, and it resonates. My people tend to live well into their 90s, so God willing, I’ve got 50-plus summers ahead. But even then, I’m nearing the midpoint. And lately I’ve been learning that life isn’t just about counting the seasons, it’s about making the seasons count.

Years ago, I read When Breath Becomes Air, written by a young doctor racing against the clock to write his story before he died. His wife ended up finishing the book after he passed. The main takeaway for me was simple but seismic: if you live each day as if you’re dying, you’ll probably have fewer regrets.

For a full year after reading it, I ended my journal entries with one question: How did I live today as if I were dying? I learned a lot about myself in that year, the fears that hold me back, the life I was letting pass me by as a result of putting off for tomorrow what can only be done today. The reality is, we’re all going to die… eventually. It’s just that some of us are more aware of our mortality than others. And as a result we act accordingly.

A few days ago I traveled back to my hometown with my family to visit my extended family (grandmother, parents, my siblings, nieces and nephews). Like most people, I have a complicated relationship with my family. On the one hand, I love us and all of our dysfunction. When I was younger I assumed that dysfunction was unique to our family, and then I grew up and realized that every family has their own form of learned crazy. On the other hand, I’m always just a little on guard with my family, bracing whatever drama is next. But, as I’ve eventually learned, what I resist persists. So, I’m learning to embrace it all.

The trip started at my dad’s house where I had the opportunity to reconnect with my older brother who I haven’t seen in a couple of years. He just recently suffered a stroke and it was good to see him doing well in his recovery. It was one of those moments that counted (and not just because we snapped a photo to commemorate it!). But as we sat beside each other in the living room going through our grandmother’s old photo albums, finding pictures of ourselves as kids, it was like we were transported back in time. For a brief moment we were kids again, joking about the German chocolate cake we used to hate, unconcerned about the current latest family drama.

At my grandmother’s house I watched as my mom and the girls put on an arts and crafts show. That’s their thing every time we visit. I love that this is what will always be etched in their memory about her. And my grandmother, nearly 90, moving slower these days but still sharp, held court at the dining room table as grandchildren and great-grandchildren cycled through. I saw all my siblings that day, along with a few other extended relatives and that made for a wonderful reunion.

My grandma texted me later that evening:

This has been a great day having all of the family together, sharing our thoughts and stories and now look where we are, almost grown children. Keep your eyes 👀 open and alert.

Just like a grandma, always ending with a message.

The next day, the girls and I spent hours assembling their new beds, an undertaking I was honestly dreading. But it ended up being fun, like a whole bonding experience. You never know what memories are being made until you’re in the middle of them.

And finally, we ended the day before Thanksgiving with one of my favorite annual traditions: my wife and our four daughters in the kitchen helping to prepare the next day’s meal. They were joined by my mother and sister in law. After a day of lifting beds and putting together furniture I was tired, but I kept sneaking downstairs to catch a glimpse of these memories being made. They didn’t wrap up until about midnight but no one seemed to want to leave the party.

I checked in on the littles who finally tired themselves out and they looked so cute sleeping in their new twin beds side by side (isn’t it amazing how kids always look so much more peaceful when they’re asleep lol!). They were so excited to sleep in their big girl beds, and now here they were. They weren’t ready for the party to end, but sleep was calling and eventually they couldn’t resist.

And that’s how life should be. One big party that no one seems to want to leave. But, when time is up, you’re also ready to go because you’ve made every moment count.

SDW3