You know, sometimes I think that I worry too much about things that don’t matter. Worry then becomes a distraction away from what truly does matter, which is enjoying the relationships in your life and living in the moment. Case in point, last night I had a terrible dream that something happened to one of my girls. Afterwards, I wasn’t thinking about a project due at work tomorrow, or the endless list of errands that seem to begin with the start of a new week (both things that were on my mind when I originally went to sleep), instead I was thinking about the precious moments I’d just spent this past weekend with my girls. Memories.
Yesterday was a holiday celebrating the life of Dr. King. Ordinarily, at least the past few years, I’ve spent that time out and about, engaging in some type of social consciousness building activity with others. The mantra I believe is “a day on, not a day off.” And to some degree I believe in it. Oftentimes, this is the only time of year that folks will consider the ideals of justice and equity for all. But for those of us who live our lives daily with this as a part of our core values, I think we get a pass for doing something that I believe even Dr. King himself wished he could do at the end of his life. That is, spend more time with the ones we love, being, and not doing. And that’s a hard thing for me because as much as I like to focus on the being part in my writing, reflecting, and training of others, at my core I’m a busybody doer as well. My mind is constantly churning for the next opportunity, project, initiative, and sometimes it is hard for me to rest or at least pause and enjoy life as it is now, versus always focusing on creating the future life of my dreams.
That’s why my wife has been such an important partner, she gets it and she gets me. She knows when we all need to take a little break and simply be. I get the sense that my girls enjoy the moments when we’re curled up on the couch eating popcorn, just as much as getting to come to a Teen Dads meeting watching dad facilitate a workshop. The point is, they’ll remember both and that’s important.
In fact, though we did relax and enjoy each other’s company most of this weekend, we did spend some time discussing Dr. King’s legacy, something that my girls were already familiar with, but always needs to be reinforced. The power of having a dream to begin with and the value of Dr. King’s dream in particular, these are valuable lessons that can be both taught and caught.
I just don’t want it to be out of whack. The pursuit of any dream is just as important as the destination itself. My dream is, and always has been to raise a family who sees themselves as leaders, with something to contribute to making this world a better place. Some days I have to remind myself, that although we haven’t arrived at the destination, I’m living the dream right now.