This past week I posted a tweet that went a bit viral, in response to witnessing the historic confirmation of Ketanji Brown Jackson, the first black woman justice to join the US Supreme Court. I wasn’t trying to be profound, it just so happened that life caught me in an unguarded moment and I shared an honest reflection. I was just so proud to be able to share this moment with my daughters. But the reaction to be honest caught me off guard, and ultimately gave me pause. What if my best moments happen when they’re unfiltered?

Related to that, this past week my family and I were on vacation. I don’t know about you, but it tends to take me a few days to unwind from the regular pace of my life before I can enter my vacation flow. I’m already a naturally structured (some might say rigid) person, so entering a week of beach life that’s supposed to be all about relaxation and free from a set schedule is well… a challenge for me.

I tried to do my best, but the wheels came off on the first day, packing up the van and headed out on vacation. No one was ready, the house was still a mess, and we ended up leaving nearly six hours later than I wanted to depart. So much for a stress free road trip right? As it turns out, life has a way of offering you just what you need when you need it. Or as a line from my favorite book The Alchemist goes, Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.

We ended up having a great time this past week. We biked to the beach each day. I read books and wrote in my journal. There were moments where I just sat outside in the mornings drinking tea and meditating while our new puppy entertained herself in the yard. I slowed down, like all the way down. So much so that on the drive back to Atlanta yesterday, when we got stuck in post Spring Break traffic, I was able to keep my cool.

Then, this afternoon at swim lessons I was able to successfully attempt floating on my back and streamlining down the lane. That’s a pretty big deal for me, someone who every week my coach is constantly saying… you’ve got to relax. You’re too tense. Relinquish control and trust yourself in the water. All of that up until now has sounded like nonsense to me. I’ve built my entire life around maintaining order and control (and I think it’s working out pretty well thus far).

And yet, could it be that now all of a sudden i’m in a season of life where the key to success seems to be relinquishing order and control? (learning how to swim, raising pre-teen daughters?)   How does that work?  And also why does it feel as if things flow a little bit easier when i’m not pushing to get them done?  

All interesting questions that I’ll be taking with me as I head into my post vacation life.

SDW3