Loving the family you have

A lot goes into the decision to have another child. At least it does for us. We’ve been brewing over this now for a few months, to stop or to go for one more (perhaps a boy this time?). The truth of the matter is, I’m pretty satisfied with the two that I have right now. That ultimately will be the deciding factor. When my wife and I look at our family, can we honestly say to ourselves, this group feels complete? If only there was a voice of reason to give us the answer…

I have this book on my bookshelf entitled Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids. Very interesting title, that’s why I picked it up. I haven’t actually read it all yet, but thumbing through the chapters, I’m not sure that I agree with the central premise. Being a parent has to be one of the more selfless acts, stretching even some of the most self indulgent people (including yours truly), to learn to think about others first. So how could there be much room for selfishness I wondered? The truth of the matter is, if you’re really trying to be “selfish”, you probably wouldn’t want to become a parent in the first place. Too much work, for too little pay lol. But taking this limited view, you’d probably miss out on the biggest upside of parenting: the intangibles.

Today I spent most of it with my girls, first after church Olivia, my youngest, and I went to the market for some daddy daughter time. Then, we came home and picked up Riles to run another errand. On the way home I caught myself singing along to Frozen’s Let It Go, twice. Loudly, with my daughters. I knew every word to the chorus, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Driving home, while singing I caught a glimpse of Livi in the mirror grinning, pleased that she knew the words and proud because I was watching her sing. Perfect moments like these give you a sense of completion and fulfillment. I love the family I have right now, and that’s what matters. Later this evening, Livi crawled into bed with me while mommy was doing Riley’s hair and said she wanted to watch football with daddy.

That’s all I needed to hear. I think we may be done.

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