Changing Together

This year is the ten year anniversary for my wife and I.  People remark to us from time to time that we are still pretty young, and truth be told, we were pretty young when we got married (22).  Newly graduated from Emory University, we walked from the graduation station, down the wedding aisle two weeks later.  We were young, naive, and deeply in love.  Now we’re still young, a little wiser, and even deeper in love.

It’s one thing to find a partner when you’re older, and have figured out a lot of things about yourself.  I think the gift of getting married young (for us at least), was that we got to discover ourselves together.  Everybody changes as they grow, it’s a natural part of life.  But my personal belief is that as people change, they become more of who they already are, a deeper version of themselves.  The trick in marriage is finding a partner who is willing to grow and change with you.  I’ve been blessed to find that in my wife, a woman who saw potential in me as a young, brash kid from South Carolina.  She saw a vision of the older, brash husband and father I would become. Similarly, I knew we would change as we got older, we have just been willing to change together.

These days, I often think about the implications of marrying young for my daughters.  Will they follow in our footsteps and marry young as well?  Is that a good thing?  Will they find someone who is willing to love them, not just for who they currently are, but can also appreciate the person they are becoming? How will they know if they’re ready?  For that matter, how will I know if I’m ready for them to get married!?  I know it’s a little ways off, but I think about these things from time to time.  It reminds me to appreciate the current time we have together.

Last night as I was reading a chapter in The Alchemist, I thought about something.  I’m the type of person who likes to appreciate the present, while also planning for the future.  Is it possible to do both well?  I’d like to think it’s going just fine thus far.


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