Are we done yet?

So, are you all done or will you try for that boy?

There’s a conversation starter.

Last night my wife and I attended one of our friends baby gender reveal party, and it really got me thinking about how satisfied I am with my life (and in particular our children count).  Given that this was our first time out of the house by ourselves in about a month and a half, so it also served as a date night for us.  As we made the half hour trip to the event I had my collection of slow jams playing while my wife sat next to me with her classic afro blow-out (for which she’d already received one compliment for at our pit stop to CVS).  It was shaping up to be a great evening, and the company at the dinner party didn’t disappoint.  Seeing our friends, enjoying good times, food, drink, and laughter made the rigors of our daily lives seem so far away.

Then, as inevitably it does, the question arose…so are you all done or will you try for that boy? I usually walk right into that one, probably because I bring it up by asking other folks about their reproductive status.  I know, major social faux pas.  At any rate, like I mentioned, I bring it on myself.  Usually somewhere along the lines in the conversation it ends with a reply something like, well, my wife says I’m free to have more kids, but just not with her so…I guess I’m done.  We all have a good laugh and then we move on.  Well, at least one of us, I usually linger, wondering…am I missing out by not having a son…

I think this weekend is helping me to put that question to rest.  I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that now we have 4 girls in the house (including my niece who now stays with us), or just simply the sheer magnitude of keeping everything running with just the full house that we have…but I felt exhausted just thinking about another child.  Maybe it is time to move on from this phase.  One of our friends last night brought their newborn baby with them, and holding her in our arms and smelling her newborn smell…it didn’t really do anything for me!  London, my almost 1 year old just started walking 2 weeks ago.  I like this phase better than where she was months ago (there’s less poop).  Plus, I’m beginning to see how much I enjoy the actual “parenting” phase of parenting.  You know, the 2-5 and then 6-12 years where we’re actually laying the groundwork of faith, values, and decision-making for them to be successful leaders and adults.

The next time someone asks me that question, I think I’ll be ready with a different answer.  One that points not to the regret of what I don’t have, but the expectancy of what I’m looking forward to and the enjoyment of the 3 brilliant girls that I already have the pleasure of parenting everyday.



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