One of favorite t-shirt slogans is, I match energy, so go on ahead and decide how we gonna act today. I mean look, on the surface it’s clearly hilarious. But when you dig deeper, those of us who live by this motto give so much of our power away when we simply choose to “match” energy rather than high vibing no matter what. And look, I know that’s difficult to do. I have found myself in numerous low vibe situations where I’m either surrounded by energy vampires or worse, I’ve become one. There’s another quote I like, there is no better, cleaner energy than just being the person God created us to be by Ruth Haley Barton. These days I’m learning that I have to be more attentive to my energy, where it’s going, where it’s coming from, and how to protect it.
Last night during movie night we hung out as a family watching Michelle Obama’s Netflix special on her book, The Light We Carry. My kids know how I roll, whenever I see a documentary that I think will provoke a healthy conversation we’re watching it. Even the Littles! (That’s what we affectionately call our four and seven year old daughters). For the youngest it didn’t really hold their attention. But for our oldest two, the teenager and tween, it prompted a series of important conversations about how we show up, what we believe about ourselves, and how we manage our energy.
Just earlier that week I’d started the day off in a grumpy mood. In my household, if we’ve got low vibes floating around usually I’m the culprit. It’s something I’m working on, though to be honest it’s only something I’ve recently discovered while doing my own work in therapy. I’m still building my muscle to name my feelings, rather than suppressing them so they don’t come out sideways. My wife on the other hand is a master at helping us all navigate our own emotions and energies.
On this particular morning because I was dealing with (or not dealing with actually) my own stressors with work and business decisions that needed to be made, I wasn’t showing up with high vibes. After snapping at folks over breakfast and chiding the girls over forgetting this or messing up that…one of my daughters London remarked as she was being rushed out the door (by me of course), can’t a girl catch a break and take her time to look for her sweater?
Hearing that did something to me. It was as if it clicked, if my baby girl can’t get peace and high vibes in her own home, where will she find it? (Or worse, where might she go looking for it?) So, after I collected myself, I went outside to the garage where I’d just only moments ago herded the whole family and apologized. I apologized to everyone for poisoning the start of their day with my low vibe energy. I acknowledged that I need to do better on a regular basis. I committed to helping to set the tone for a kinder start to our day. And I told them I loved them and I would do better.
That was Wednesday. Friday morning I huddled everyone at the door together and we did a playful group hug before we left for the day. At first one of my daughters resisted (of course it was the tween), asking, wait, did someone die again? Nope, just trying to do a better job managing my own energy at the start of the day. When you live in a household with a lot of people you have to learn to manage your own energy. That involves being honest with yourself and the ones you love about how you’re feeling. And it involves being intentional about what we transfer to others. Here’s to sustaining my commitment to making our home a high vibe place.