Creating memories will cost you, but it’s worth it


This was definitely a whirlwind of a weekend.  We seemed to do everything under the sun…and made some terrific memories in the process.  First, my youngest sister got married.  It still sounds new to me, even to write it.  But, it happened and I’m happy for her.  She seems happy, and Brett, my new brother-in law seems to check out fine after my rigorous series of cross examinations lol.  Actually, it was good practice for me.  I consider it a short trial run before I do the same thing with my own daughters decades from now.  Using the word “decades” makes it sound far away, and makes me feel better about it…but I know it’s coming.  One day.  Soon.

While we were driving back from Savannah my wife said something really interesting.  Prior to the trip we’d been debating whether or not we should expand our family.  Afterwards, she mentioned that while watching our daughters walk down the aisle as flower girls, she didn’t feel like our family was complete yet.  She too wants another Wakefield man to carry on the Wakefield name and legacy.  So there’s that…

Oh yeah, I also walked my sister down the aisle.  Never done that before.  She has kind of an estranged relationship with our father, so she asked me to do it.  As I walked her down the aisle, I felt a weight of responsibility, a passing of the torch, something akin to how I feel with my own daughters.  I was proud of her because of her independence.  In the moment that I looked at her before we started to walk down the aisle, she looked more mature to me than she ever had in her life.  I guess that’s a good signal when you’re about to commit your life to a new partnership maturity.  Because she’ll need it.  It takes grown folk to be in grown folk relationships!

The next morning after the wedding and the late night reception, we got up early to head to the beach (Tybee Island).  I’d promised the girls the whole trip down that we would make it to the beach and I try to be a father who keeps his word, particularly to my daughters.  I’m trying to set an example here.  So, we pressed on despite being tired and all eight of us (my sister and two of her kids, and my mother) all piled in our van and met some of the other wedding guests including the bride and groom at the beach.

Even though it was a lot, it was definitely worth it.  There was a brief moment when I sat in one of the beach chairs (I say a brief moment because you know how trips are with young children, never a moment’s rest).  During that small window I looked out at the ocean, listened to the waves, and simply took deep breaths.  And sighed.  Everything this past weekend was a whirlwind, from the early morning road trip to Savannah with a packed minivan of kids and adults (gotta love that 8 passenger van though), to the last-minute wedding running around, to the special times at the ceremony and beach.  But it created memories and that’s why we did it.  We pressed our way because we knew that one day, including today, we’d look back on this time and be glad we experienced it together.  And experience we did…and now we’re tired!

Creating memories will definitely cost you.   But it’ll always be worth it.  In that moment when I took my deep breath on the beach, and simply sighed, afterwards I glanced at my girls playing in the sand.  They just seemed to be so thrilled to be there.  That was a special confirmation that it was worth it.  The moment when my mother led a toast after the wedding and she seemed proud to just have her kids together and happy, that was another confirmation that it was all worth it.  The moment when I glanced back in the van and everyone on the back two rows were asleep on the drive home, that was confirmation that it was all worth it.  You just have to know what matters most to you, and be willing to pay the price for it.


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