I call it a sabbatical, because even though it included a vacation with my family, it was also a chance to step away from my everyday life in order to recharge and reset for the next phase. Normal vacations are about doing things, usually lots of activities. You tend to come back more tired than when you left. That’s not what I was going for here (and honestly, it’s never how I prefer to travel). I was looking to be transformed, but in a way that I could bring back to my everyday life.

There’s also this: I’m highly aware of the privilege it takes to step away from work for extended periods of time. It’s something our family has done every year since the pandemic gave us our own hard reset. Over the past five years, we’ve chosen to abandon our lives each July in search of reclaiming them. Across road trips, we’ve now visited 33 of the 48 continental states, Canada, Mexico, and Costa Rica. This would be our first venture out west.

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Just give yourself to the trip.

That’s what I wrote in my journal on the first morning of our two week road trip through California. The trip would last 14 days, and we were staying in 6 different places along the way. But like our other long road trips, this was a marathon, not a sprint. So I needed to prepare myself mentally and emotionally.

Our travels had already started auspiciously. Our flight left Atlanta at 7am Saturday morning, and the girls were already on 10. It made sense, we’d all been looking forward to this trip for a while so they were excited I know. Everyone had even helped plan it, which I was proud of. For the first time, we used an app called Wonderlog to map out what we’d do each day, organizing our activities and travel across the two weeks. I felt prepared, and I loved that I wasn’t the only one responsible for setting the agenda.

Inglewood and downtown LA

To begin, we spent a day in downtown LA visiting places like, the Last Bookstore on Earth, the house that Kobe built (aka the Staples Center… I refuse to call it the new name). We were trying to kill some time before we could check in to our Airbnb. The best part was our time in Inglewood, eating brunch at a local diner and stopping for doughuts at the famous Randy’s.

Long Beach

Finally, it was time to check-in. For the first leg of our journey we were staying in Long Beach. We figured, we might as well enjoy the beach part of the west coast trip first and I’ve got to say, there was a lot to like about this beach town. It felt like its own city, farther removed from the hustle of downtown LA, and it was close enough to San Diego for a quick day trip. Sitting out on the patio each morning, reading and writing while beachgoers walked past, I figured I could get used to this pace of life. But I also realized I needed to get ahead of it. I’d written the night before:

I know I need more rest at the start of the trip. Beginning a long journey on a deficit is a recipe for disaster. I was cranky and on edge all day and it prevented me from being fully in the moment sometimes.  The way I want to show up on this trip is open, flexible, and gracious. And to do that I have to be well rested.

So my wife and I committed to going to bed early for the next few days to see if that would do the trick. My body wasn’t yet acclimated to the west coast time zone and it turns out that wasn’t the only thing I needed to get used to.

Our house was pretty nice, though it didn’t really have AC.

What we quickly learned was that west coast beaches are, well different than the beaches along the Florida coast that we’re used to. First, the water’s significantly colder. I mean, who is swimming in this cold ass water? Not me, that’s for sure! Second, unlike the white sand and clear emerald water we know, this beach was dirty and the waves were strong. We ended up finding a lagoon for the girls, clearly the go-to spot for families with younger kids. Over the next few days, we biked the boardwalk, played beach volleyball, and did some shopping. But my favorite was the day trip to San Diego.

San Diego

One morning we just woke up and said, this feels like a San Diego day. We thought, when would we be this close to San Diego again? We figured we might as well take advantage of proximity and make the most of it. Besides, I have a younger cousin who lives there who I hadn’t seen in a while that I wanted to reunite with. (The last time I saw Vincent, he was 14 and 6’4).

Let me tell you, San Diego is a pretty dope city. We started at the La Jolla Cove, a rocky coastal area where large groups of sea lions chill all day. We could (if we wanted to) swim right there in the ocean with them, or at least sit right next to them.

Afterwards, we visited the world famous San Diego Zoo, which was one of Riley’s picks. It turns out there was something for everyone here. But Riles, our future wildlife veterinarian was so engrossed in all the animals. She was definitely in her element. Leaving the zoo, we ventured to our last destination which was Old Town San Diego, an actual state park that has preserved the original Euro- American settlement in San Diego from the 1820s. A short walk from the historic site was a Mexican restaurant where I had the best salsa I’ve ever had (even if it was on the spicy side) and where we later met up with my cousin.

Sequoia National Park

The fun thing about road trips (at least for me) is the actual driving, and scenic southern California did not disappoint. As we left Long Beach and made our way up to our camp grounds at Sequoia National Park, I almost found myself getting lost watching the terrain shift, from valleys and desert to mountains and well, more desert. After about a 4 hour drive which included a stop in Bakersfield, CA for lunch (home of apparently big oil rigs and conservative politics), we were finally here.   Finally, we arrived at the campsite, a phrase that I’ll use generously. Because while it was truly a campsite, it was more like glamping. Most families had rented Airstreams, and we were steps from a lodge stocked with every creature comfort you could want, including supplies for your own campsite grill. (The place is called Autocamp, and I’ll definitely visit the one near me in the Carolinas next time I camp.)

In addition, you could tell from the cars in the parking lot what kind of crowd this was: Mercedes, Lexus, more Toyota Siennas than I could count.  While we were the only Black family there, there were other people of color, including several non-english speaking families.  

After settling in, the girls and I went exploring and found ourselves near a stream where a few other families were hanging out. I’ve never seen a stream in the middle of mountains where the water was so clear. I could see my feet! The girls had already waded in and were having fun, and I wasn’t about to miss out myself.  I already had on my swimming trunks.  With 100+ degree weather, getting into the cool flowing mountain stream felt amazing.  We ended up staying there for a while. 

While over there, I struck up a conversation with another dad.  He and his wife and 2 kids were traveling almost the exact opposite path.  They’d just left Yosemite and were now here at Sequoia.  We were on our way next to Yosemite.  They also started in San Fransico and that’s where we’re headed afterwards.  We exchanged stories of harrowing driving on the highway around the mountains and our attempts at getting our kids to ride bikes with us.  They’re from Arkansas, but his wife has spent time in Atlanta so we had some common ground..  All in all, it was fun to just make some new friends and also have a chance to be reminded just once again how much we have in common.  The more I travel the country, the more I realize that we’re all just trying to make it.  One day at a time. 

Oh, and the Sequoia National Park didn’t disappoint either. These trees are the oldest living trees on earth, and some of the tallest. Like, you could drive a truck through the base of some of them. Just being in a place that ancient grounds you. At night time we cuddled up watching a few family movies, this night it was The Greatest Showman. During the day, the soundrack to that musical provided our anthems.

Cause every night I lie in bed
The brightest colors fill my head
A million dreams are keepin’ me awake
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it’s gonna take
Oh, a million dreams for the world we’re gonna make

Yosemite National Park

What is there to say? The place is amazing. This time we stayed at a motel right outside the national park. And well, let’s just say that motels aren’t the girls thing. But, we loved everything there, including the perilouse drive down the mountain into the national park floor. This was also the portion of the trip where I got to take in the scenic views as a passenger. And that always means me posted up with a book, with my feet on the dash.

The Bay Area (San Francisco and Oakland)

On the morning of our first day in the bay area I wrote in my journal: we’re at the halfway mark for our west coast road trip and I am starting to feel a bit homesick… but there’s still so much to see and do on this trip.  And that’s when I realized that stamina was the name of the game. On day 8 of our adventure, we visited Oakland and the oldest black bookstore still in existence, the black Panther Museum, and then came back across the bay to Chinatown and the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Chinatown was bustling, All I remember from that cold, windy night at the bridge was wondering, why is it always so chilly in the bay area, even in the summer time???

Regardless, these few days in the Bay turned out to be some of my favorite days on the trip because of my love for Black history. At the Black Panther Museum, there was an exhibit with photographs and oral histories, on the role of women in the Black Panther Party movement. Featured was a newly released book of stories: Comrade Sisters. One of the contributors, Ms. Fredrika whose granddaughter will be in ATL this fall attending Ga. Tech on a volleyball scholarship, was there sharing her story and signing book copies. It was a special moment to watch my girls hear some of the stories and also start to see themselves in a movement that continues.

Pacific Coast Highway

This was everything. This was what I wanted to do the whole trip for. To basically be able to drive down the coast of California, starting in the Bay, Monterey, Caremel by the Sea, Bixby Bridge… it was all iconic. We stopped in various places along the way and we ended up spending the night in Grover Beach.

Back in LA… the Blackish neighborhood

In an ironic twist that was not lost on us, on our return trip to LA we stayed in Sherman Oaks. It’s described as “an affluent, predominantly non-Black neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley region of Los Angeles” and also where our favorite TV family from Black-ish lives.. It had everything we needed, space, a pool, and proximity to all the things we wanted to do on our final week in LA. First we hit up Universal Studios Hollywood, and did the studio tour (the rides were just ok). Of course we did all the other touristy stuff, traveling through Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive, walking along the Hollywood squares. Shopping at the Grove was fun (so many people though for a weekday afternoon!).

But probably the best part of this last week was simply spending a few days not leaving the house at all. I just sat by the pool reading and writing, only interrupted by getting in and out of the pool to cool off.

During those days I reflected, you know it’s a good trip when you’re ready to head home, but you’re also kind of sad you’re leaving.

Home.

By the time we arrived in Atlanta it was 1am. I slept for 10 hours the day we got home. None of us were quite ready to face the world, or return to daily life. Not yet. Our minds and our bodies were still on vacation time. But the next day we all started to slowly climb out of the fog. We’re unpacking suitcases and getting groceries. The first day of school is a week away, which means it’s time for calendar meetings and back to school shopping to commence. I can already feel my sabbatical life slipping away.

This is why I took a trip down memory lane this morning. During my journal time I asked myself three questions to help guide my reentry back into everyday life.

What did I need before sabbatical?

What did I learn about myself while on sabbatical?

What rhythms will I bring back to my everyday life?

Before I left, I wanted to experience more awe, and less burnout. Mission accomplished. I gave myself to the trip, and the trip provided. Instead of waking up worrying about my to-do list, I woke up curious. The magic of sabbatical life was that I didn’t have to hold so tightly to everything going on (even when an emergency threatened to derail our plans) and instead I could stay open to whatever life’s surprises had in store. That’s a lesson worth applying back home.

The trip may be over, but the lessons remain.

SDW3