I’ve noticed an inverse relationship between peace and control. The more I try to control the outcome of things, the less peace I have, and the more I trust God and rely on Him to help me juggle the responsibilities I have, the more peace I have. But often that translates into giving up control. Interesting. I’m a big fan of dads trying to be superman, holding it together for everyone (including themselves), but truth be told, none of us can do it on our own. We need our own super-someone.
Yesterday was a classic example of this, both personally and professionally. At work, I’ve been working on an important project, and typically I don’t allow myself to be stressed out by other people’s expectations, but this time the pressure of performance started to get to me. So much so that by mid-day yesterday after dealing with one reoccurring problem after the next, I had to lay down to recover from a massive headache. On top of that, I was waiting to hear back from a friend of mine who’s wife was sent to the hospital that morning due to complications with their pregnancy (she was expecting twins, not due for a few more weeks, but they were having trouble finding the heartbeat). So, as I got back to work, more challenging news kept coming, and at the same time, it was time for grandma to leave so I was left alone there with the girls (I was working from home). I finished making some calls and sending a few emails, but with the matter unresolved, and unlikely to be resolved that evening, I resolved (see what i did there?) to just let it go for the time being.
Of course that’s when I also remembered, we hadn’t completed Riley’s MLK project for school, and mom was working late tonight so it would be left to me to complete. I say “we” because our daughter gets assigned these weekly family projects for class that are impossible to complete without parental help. It’s 7pm, no project, no work resolution, no dinner or bathtime yet, definitely no peace. So what did we decide to do? The only sensible thing of course. We had a dance party in the hallway! I turned on Michelle Williams song
, which the girls love, and we all danced around to it for a few times until it seemed like my problems just melted away.
Now, in all seriousness, of course I knew that the problems themselves still existed, and the girls themselves probably weren’t worried about anything to begin with, but it was fun and relieving. It was also a moment of escape that reminded me to chill out. Problems come and problems go, but you know what matters most? How we respond to them. I’ll take the peace, thank you very much. I don’t need the control.
Once I stopped worrying about the outcomes, it seemed a lot less stressful and easier to both complete the project, get everyone to eat dinner (with broccoli!), and make traction on my work related challenge. And to top it off, my friend sent me two pictures of the most beautiful twin girls…welcome to fatherhood man! You may not be able to choose when things happen, or how they happen, or even what happens, but sometimes you’re gifted with wonderful reminders that it’s just simply better to make the most of the time that you have, and enjoy the ride while you’re here.